Top 5 Ways to Get Rid of a Friend

There are times in your life that a relationship needs to come to an end. You are no longer interested in dating someone or perhaps having a person as a friend. But instead of just telling them up front to get lost, why not try out some of these humor ideas? After all, you probably will not hurt anyone’s feelings using these.

Top Ways to Get Rid of a Friend #1: Stink them Out
Stop using toilet paper, deodorant, soap or even water and stink out your friend or person you are dating. They will probably gag and run for cover. The family dog might not like you either!

Top Ways to Get Rid of a Friend #2: Borrow Money from them Each Time You See Them
Even if it is only a few bucks, every time that you see the friend or go dating with them, borrow money. Of course you never pay it back and this will really irritate them. They’ll either start coming around you with an empty wallet or get out of your life.

Top Ways to Get Rid of a Friend #3: Charge Them for the Time Together
If you have to drive to meet the friend or date, charge them for gas. If they come to visit you, charge them for using the bathroom, for a glass of water and even for sharing the same air space that you do. Make sure you do this after borrowing a few bucks from them.

Top Ways to Get Rid of a Friend #4: Show Them Your Poo
After you use the bathroom at their house, show them your poo. Tell them what a great job you did and how proud you are that you just had to share this with them. Kids being potty trained do it, so why not repulse a friend and do this? If you’re out eating, ask them to come in the bathroom so you can show them your poo and fret that someone might have flushed it when you came back out to tell them.

Top Ways to Get Rid of a Friend #5: Pick Your Nose and Clip Your Nails
Pick your nose in front of them. You can just casually wipe it on them if you want. And of course, clip your nails with them and let the nail clippings fly all over the place.