Sunday, May 18, 2008

How to Get Rid of a Telemarketer

I realize that a telemarketer probably did not sit and dream of harassing people on the phone when they were asked in high school what they wanted to do with their life. I'm also sure that a telemarketer didn't raise their hand in middle school and say, "Oh yes, I want to be a telemarketer when I grow up." So don't get me wrong. I know that everyone has to make money and pay the bills. Yet, there are times that I really don't have the patience for telemarketers. I would like to spend my time with the family without the interruption. My biggest peeve is when the telemarketer calls your phone right in the middle of the family meal.

Family Meal Call

Tell you what. When you're at home eating dinner, call me and we'll chat.
Let me put you on hold while I finish eating my family meal and then we'll chat.
Did you know that I'm having steak, rib eye, homemade onion rings, a delicious pasta salad and a lovely chocolate dessert?

Evening Phone Call

When you get off of work, I'll call you. What is your number?
Can you hold on please? Yes, I'll talk to you when this show is over. It just started.
Do you mind us chatting while I'm sitting on the toilet baking cookies and smelling up the bathroom?
The person you are calling for is now in prison and will be back in twenty years. Do you want me to have them call you collect from the prison?

Anytime Phone Call

My grandson loves talking on the phone. He's so adorable at it. Oh! He wants a turn. Hold on. I'll put him on so you can see first hand.
I"m right in the middle of having sex. I can put you on hold until we're done.
Will you write something down for me please? It's my shopping list. Gun, rope, duct tape, fire crackers, gorilla glue, bat

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